This morning we went to Auschwitz. I'm not sure I can properly put into words what the experience was like but it was a very emotional morning. I know about the Holocaust, I know the numbers of people killed, the methods and possible reasons for the actions of the Nazis; but seeing piles and piles of human hair, hairbrushes, shoes and clothing hit me in a way I did not expect. The experience is one I will not forget and I will forever be changed because of it. We had the opportunity to see the vastness of the Birkenau camp, as well as the conditions of life for prisoners. We stood where mass numbers of people were murdered and you couldn't help but cry for the cruelty these people endured.
I found I reacted very differently than the others after the tour. At first I was quiet, I just wanted to be left alone and feel sorry for myself and the world but soon after I was craving human contact, craving connection with others and feeling the need to reconcile my views of the world, my perception of life and the ability of people to act in the evilest of ways.
I found that reconciliation and that contact and the feeling of love and kindness in our visit to our family this evening. Our group was split up and I and two other girls (and our wonderful translator Sam) went to dinner with a family who will be moving into one of the flats in our building. They have 6 children (all born within a 9 year span): 5 girls and 1 boy. We didn't get much of a chance to see the boy (he's been working on the site alot though so we've met him before). We did however have a wonderful time with the girls. They ranged in age between 17-8 and they were such beautiful girls. Their mother (a nurse who works full time and is still on the build site most days) was talking about how hard money is and their living situation but we reassured her that she had done a wonderful job of raising her children as they were so beautiful. They all have a wonderful relationship with each other (I never saw them fight once) and they love and respect their mother emensely. One of the girls is in the process of having surgery to fix some hip problems so she uses crutches to walk but nonetheless was more than happy to accompany us on a walk around the neighborhood and a nearby park. Their father unfortunately appears to be an alcoholic and we didn't see much of him. Their home, despite it's size for 8 people and it's run down condition was so beautifully well kept and well decorated that their positive attitude for life was very obvious.
We brought the children small gifts (bubbles, markers, Canada stuff, skipping ropes etc) and they very much enjoyed them. In turn they gave us beautiful necklaces made of stones you can only find in the sea off the coast. We went to the park and played with the bubbles; I soon found myself skipping and playing tag with the children. I was exhausted and hot afterwards but reassured that good still exists in this world. I had daisies and little flowers coming at me all the time from the little girls and even some rocks. We threw berries at each other and laughed and smiled despite not knowning what each other was saying. We counted in English and then Polish each impressed at the other's unknown knowledge.
I have never felt the way I did this morning and this afternoon. I have never before really confronted the evil and the horror of the Holocaust and the suffering of the Jews, Russians, Polish and gypsy people in the prison camps. Taking a class and then seeing the piles of shoes belonging to now murdered people... hearing the stories of the massacre of children and then standing where those very children had been murdered... are very different things. I have never felt that level of sorrow, or that deepness of regret for someone else decisions in my life.
On the completely other end of the spectrum, I have never experienced what I did when we met the family. I've done this building thing a few times now and never before have I been so impacted by the lives of these people. We've never before had the chance to meet them as we did today. I know that what I'm doing here isn't for my own glory and that's its not to make myself feel good but I couldn't help but feel a sense of happiness and pride that someone was doing something about this situation. I was so inspired about the outlook that this family had about life and their new beginning in their new home. They've all been working so hard on the build site and are all so excited. They were so excited by the simplest of gifts we gave them and I felt emotions I can't even describe to see them gesturing for me to come skip with them or play with them.
Today, I experienced some of the highest emotions I ever have: the deepest of sorrow and the highest of joys and I am confident that I come out of today with a completely different outlook on life, and as a very changed person with an appreciation for the sanctity of life and the simple joys with which we're blessed.
*Us (Suzanne, Lesley, Sam and Melody and the Family: Mother and girls (Olga, Claudia, Agata, Natasha and Dominika)
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